Windless Sails.

[Munteskue1]

Damnnnnnnnnn you went hard

I think if you go back and edit just a little bit to clean up the flow you would have one of the better pieces that I've read so far


Some of the bars were stretched just slightly, but damnnn this shit was too nice at certain points

[AbZ The Beast]

Happiness is oxygen & finally I'm breathing clear//

thats f'n dope man

Time to stand over my victims w/ open eyes & folded arms//
Flow's baptized, so much emotion bottled up I could capsize Noah's Arc//
Just let me lay in the grass, smell some flowers, admire the Rosa Parks//
Kick back w/out the sofa mart, fuck the doja give this poem a spark//
My home is dark, I'm broken, depression was surgery, open heart//

real nice seg. there. 'poem a spark' had a extra syllable but was still smooth man
..


over all very solid post man
really feeling the emotions and storytelling


peace


AbZ

[FlipSide]

Cops on every crooked path, dropping every book they had//
God it's scary looking back -- but all it's buried in the past//
No popularity, constant worry & solitary couldn't last//
Problems cherry, then burn to ash, let commissary turn to cash//

Great Wording And Good Description Of What It Really Feels like... For Real

Proud shit, now it's safe to use my brakes cuz I learned how to down shift//
N' just post up, like new mail, create wind n' move sails//
Peddle the right direction, keep my "bearing's straight" like blue whales//
Wheels turning, tighten these loose nails -- go at heads, choose tails//
Screw jail, I'mma accept responsibility n' never lose, fail --//
--ure(your) never gonna quite truly understand what Rugged Eros been through//
But for my own sake, I just hope this shit don't continue...//

Another Descent Amount Of Flow Right Here... Again Delivery Was Dope.. Word Play Was Dope The Tails Line Was Simple Yet Dope... Again lol

Imma friendly guy, a dollar short, but still pennywise//

Dope Ass Line Here

Now I'm free, open ears, spit the best, no more fear, live to death//
Difference between me n' you is -- those are tears, this is sweat//

Killer Fucking Bar... Nice Impact Here

Criminal record is mid chapter, this sentence wasn't my first or last//

Thats How I Felt..... But Imma Lil Older Now...Good Perception Of Ur Own Life Though...

Flow's baptized, so much emotion bottled up I could capsize Noah's Arc//

Nice Play Here

I Wish I Couldve Heard The Instrumental Tho Im At Work Eating Lunch But This Was Def A Good Piece On Struggle And Your Determination To Overcome it.. In Parts it reminds Me Of What i Been Thru Which Gives This The Impact I Look For... Never Seem To Stop Amazing Me Bro... Its Not About The Quantity but The Quality And U Kept Me Engrossed From Start to Finish Bro... Good Work

[Munteskue_lol]

''