Spell bound

[Haz]

a song.. didn't write the hook yet. got the beat & all)

I'm tieing with Mary till we Married Riding
Her rising in the horizon is not surprising
shes shining like a diamond conquer max heights
of climbing , sight is blinding
so pure its like rewinding with slight unwinding
Wine in the cup no wining, finding reminding myself
timing will help the wealth i'm designing
Mind on a shutta island ..
Thats where they place my thoughts
they can eat my dust like the taste I Sought
I Will pay the price for every Trace I bought
Its like twice the amount, thats the case i'm taught
its Like i'm being bugged for every Lace iv'e caught
Hearing the Ties in my hand are hatred brought
If to face defeat know ya faith ain't Lost
your state ain't weak n you will Make Across


Erasing memories at any Baking cost
Voice stay lost I pick the choice of taking off
off taking a chill pill, split ambien's
with my split personalities .. Thrill Kills
though ill will means I Still will Praise
a plague and put it on the line
like the wait of the worlds on its time
If powder was the power in it i'd shower every hour
though its powers to devour ya hours till you're sour
Iv'e progressed ta fly as I severed ties
with several guys..watered down loyalty I'm better Dry
Ya philosophy an apostrophe I got the Best supply
You needa rest ya eyes, I'm Uplifting Like 2 A.m Exercise
Till you look at my body of work n my strength is recognized

[IntrinsicCadence]

This works much better as an audio piece than as a written. It's got great rhythm and flow to it, but when reading it without a beat it's kind of annoying. In audio format, I think the confusing way ur wording things is more easily understood and can even help the consistency of the flow's sound. But as a written piece I kept having to go back and reread shit and be like "what does he actually mean, oh i get it, well shit I think I get it, that could have been said so much more concisely." Sometimes that kinda open space that allows for reflection is nice, but in this case I don't think it worked so well. But again, this is as a written piece, as an audio these comments'd be different.