Awaiting The Bus

[For Real]

Awaiting The Bus
Busy Street

I stand at the bus stop, awaiting the bus,
Walking feet, disturbing debris, dust swept away in the gust,
I sit, oblivious to the images of transparent faces,
I'm the audience to a theater and the actors nameless,
Full characters pass by, each a protagonist in this story of life,
But if you ask my opinion, I'm admitting, there is noone in sight,
A street, booming with life and the public littered through,
Just moving furnature, in this bus stop's living room,
Cars flow through the veins of the land, tires holding with grip,
Empty cans at the side of the curb which roll in the wind,
Meaningless chatter clatters, words lost in the speech,
Buildings stand over, wisdom filled, watching the scene,
Anticipate, the schedual narrates that we lay on the cusp,
I stand at the bus stop, awaiting the bus.

[MonuMental]

As I've said before, you always have such a colorful picture present in the use of your vocab and descriptive terms. It makes for enjoyable reads time and time again. Keep doing your thing, homie.

[88SkyLink]

This is really a good piece. There was a good rhyme scheme, the multis were on point, and the flow was really good. Is that what you really see in a bus stop? lol. This shit is poetry man, this should be published in those poetry books man, It makes you think of the potentials others have when they're walking by. I thought you were going to spit about the bus stop based on its description, the people on the bus stop, the bitch-ass drivers etc. but you used the bus stop as an example of the open world others tread on, and you used the bus stop as a decoy to talk about something more meaningful, at least that's how I saw it. I especially liked how you used the same line for the first and last line, gave the piece a nice touch. Keep it up, peace

[Static]

i enjoy the vocabulary and the picture you painted, a couple lines flowed a little clunky, but overall i like it. real heart in it.

[For Real]

88, yeah I actually wrote this a bus stop. This is the first real on the spot inspiration based drop I wrote. Things like "The chatter clatters" was referncing the people sitting next to me and it was literally a bus street with cars passing and large buildings over. I was surprised at being inspired by thinking about it, and thought that I had to get my phone open and write something in. Although, I did finish it on the bus lol.

Thanks guys, appreciate the feedback. Leave links.