Matter Of Life & Death

Young K · Post by **Young K** » Wed Jul 04, 2007 11:09 pm

A verse of a song i did with my friend...

Ive been stuck in this bitch, for what seems like forever, lifes a bitch, and nobody knows her better.
Thats my main chick, that lives to fuck me, i would leave her in a second if i could, trust me.
I use my head, and stay a step ahead, came into this world, just to leave it in shreds.
Normally and usually, im at standstill, a broken heart can kill, yup...and will.
I will die for my niggaz, there like my family still, i will create a horror, like amityville.
A story calamity filled, thats how the man in me feels, and the man in me kills, told the man in me chill.
Cuz the man in mes ill, and the kid in mes sick, my mottos M.O.B. and Lifes a bitch.
And if you break up, you dont wake up, if your not a soldja, lifes and deaths not a hobby to take up.

Young K · Post by **Young K** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 2:54 am

not-just-another-verse-part-2-vt5601.html

Lawgix · Post by **Lawgix** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:33 am

not too impressive really... i can see that ur a newb so the vocabs kinda there... but no multies or nething really... but so far notta bad drop... keep it up!

Young K · Post by **Young K** » Thu Jul 05, 2007 10:39 pm

ok appreciate the feed

B-Bear · Post by **B-Bear** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:44 pm

Lawgix wrote:not too impressive really... i can see that ur a newb so the vocabs kinda there... but no multies or nething really... but so far notta bad drop... keep it up!

agree, but u have a nice rhyme scheme tho.. feelin it.. u prolly jacked it from ghost..lol.. but anyway.. liked the amityville line, but that's it.. i'll be straight with u.. u have a lot of work to do.. read some of the postings on this site.. think it's called the center of elevation or sth.. that might help u a bit.. and keep droppin.. and even mre important - be patient!!

Young K · Post by **Young K** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 1:54 am

thanks for the feed

complexity · Post by **complexity** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:47 am

There were multis.

It was decent.

I would give it 6/10.

I would definitely work on structure and flow, of all things.

MesaR · Post by **MesaR** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 10:17 pm

Ive been stuck in this bitch, for what seems like forever, lifes a bitch, and nobody knows her better.

Fav Line ^

And I Wouldnt Call Him A Noob. Not to That Degree.

maybe right some more bars and do it as a audio?

RH1NO · Post by **RH1NO** » Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:43 am

not bad

Ive been stuck in this bitch, for what seems like forever, lifes a bitch, and nobody knows her better.
Thats my main chick, that lives to fuck me, i would leave her in a second if i could, trust me.

^an ok bar tells a story n keeps to the point

I use my head, and stay a step ahead, came into this world, just to leave it in shreds.
Normally and usually, im at standstill, a broken heart can kill, yup...and will.

^vocab stepped up some n syill stayed on point

I will die for my niggaz, there like my family still, i will create a horror, like amityville.
A story calamity filled, thats how the man in me feels, and the man in me kills, told the man in me chill.

^didnt really see how this bar fit the scheme but good

Cuz the man in mes ill, and the kid in mes sick, my mottos M.O.B. and Lifes a bitch.
And if you break up, you dont wake up, if your not a soldja, lifes and deaths not a hobby to take up.

^umm flow was way off on this closer wasnt feelin it

overall decent drop lots of potential first couple bars kept me readin then kinda fell off

6/10

good job homie stay up keep droppin

Matter Of Life & Death

Matter Of Life & Death

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