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Skywalker
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obesity

Post by Skywalker »

He eats all day and plays video games..kids make fun of him and call him obscence names..school is something he'd rather not do..girls laugh and call him shamoo. one day he'll go crazy like most of them do pull the trigger and its aimed right at you...youve caused this kids life to goto hell and now hes spendin the rest of it in jail.he doesnt care cause hes got his satisfaction trapped in a cell for his life just relaxin'.ive seen this go on time and time again and frankly no sympathy for you my freind.you got what you deserved and hes happy with [font=Arial] [/font] what he did.you know what you did..you brought the killer outta that kid
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Ambiguous Realm
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Post by Ambiguous Realm »

3/10 mostly cuz u stuck to topic pretty good and it could relate to reality other than that the rhymes could be more complex and some multis wouldn't hurt pretty basic piece ... the flow was alright and fell off at some points, keep postin and elevate
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16 Micz
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Post by 16 Micz »

ill give it a 5/10 pretty short and boring, no offense your other piece was better..i forgot the name oh well.. return the favor one day..
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drunken jesus
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Post by drunken jesus »

1.2/10

basically everything needs work
Respect this, specialist, black, testing this and get ya necklace jacked
Your after name scratched up off my guestlist, party freak
You the type of nigga that'll hardly speak unless you spoken to
You throw a cold screw but sober up when I'm approaching you
At the same time we postin two niggaz on that ass
Thats gonna do what they supposed to do the limelight
Snatched away from you because its my night
Killarm' blaze hotter than twilight, you better get ya lines right
Half of these crabs cant even rhyme right
[Killa Sin]

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precise
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Post by precise »

yea, overall i thought it was alright because i didnt have to force myself to read it, its better to have rhymes slightly more basic and a nice flow and story then to skew the plot by forcing multies, just keep elevatin and youll be doin the complex shit eventually

i think on audio it wouldnt be too bad
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facin me? its mission impossible, like pickin up lesbian broads
fuck all these thespian frauds, they "bug me" like espionage
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