Take Two.

[Glamtrash]

Okay, so theres no reason to be fearin' me
except for the fact that i'll rip you apart lyrically
cuz when i start to spit, everybody gets hit
a double barrel shotgun could be compared to my lips.
wherever-you-are. a corner, porch, or a bar
I'll drop a fresh hit, man
I'm an unknown star
so now you're dazed and confused
wasted refuge
could throw you out but I'm a nice bitch
so i think that i'll recycle you.
like my creation
like an egg in insemination
join the coiliation
as we begin this abomination
fuel the hatred, breed with greed
and mix like thirty fuckin races.
and if i don't get you physically
s-s-s-sit there and stutter because i fucked you mentally
"god damn who's this kid with the blur on her face?"
It's not a blur, it's my lips dawg, try to keep pace
but for now double blast ya
while she tries rappin',
we'll see what happens.

Kids talk shit think they startin beef
but they can find me on stinson street man
we can pop shots or go blow for blow
it dun matta cuz the hoodz in me man
survived c-courts n i held my own
so i ain't worried 'bout a bitch like you man.

[Brah-Vo]

Nice visualization smilies and metas. Flow needs work . So does your structure.

But better then ur last scripture drop. Good job.

[precise]

haha fuck yea, this girl picks it up quick

[complexity]

It's also an original style, which will benefit her.

You can transform a poetry style into rap obviously, so it won't be that difficult of a transition.

"Okay, so theres no reason to be fearin' me
except for the fact that i'll rip you apart lyrically
cuz when i start to spit, everybody gets hit
a double barrel shotgun could be compared to my lips.
wherever-you-are. a corner, porch, or a bar
I'll drop a fresh hit, man
I'm an unknown star
so now you're dazed and confused "

I like it.

[Haz]

cuz when i start to spit, everybody gets hit
a double barrel shotgun could be compared to my lips.
^^^ lol That Stuck out to Me..

i Liked this piece.. Keep doin u..

[Glamtrash]

Thanks for the feedback guys....Now, if i could only get youz to comment on my poetry half this much lol.

[Haz]

lol Aiight i'll Comment on All ur poetry...leave Feed on somethin of Mine though.. well
actually ima write a different piece in a lil and u can leave Feed on Dat Lol