Freestyle'd poem? ; what i don't understand

[thaphantom]

damn it's like, what i don't understand.
How can my family expect me to be positive when theres all this negativity.
I can't stand this life, can I be a man?
Maybe it's just because all of my life I never really had no one that was there for me.
Can I make it? Constantly arguing and fighting.
I can't take this, it's ashame when i sleep with a knife and.
Damn.... damn......damn
What I don't understand maybe you can understand it for me.
I've been on my own mostly all my life even before the age of fourteen.
Can you see my pain? Can you feel what I feel.
It's just ashame, how my mom almost died on pills.
She tried to kill herself when i was younger and that i just don't understand.
It's just so hard i had no one else, My father drug me under forcing me to be a man.
From alcoholics to all sorts of drugs being around my house.
I was forced to exscape at night i just had to sneak out.
I don't think you understand i was only 6 at the time.
Getting yelled and screamed at then beat by a Pine.(a stick)
Damn What I don't understand, What the fuck did i do to deserve any of these pains.
It's all built up driving me insane, When i was younger i constantly heard my name.
From being outside playing to being inside crying.
Beaten from morning all through the day no point in trying.
I wanted to die, My only friend was killed when i hit age 9.
I was stuck by myself it was like my life ran out of time.
Yanked out of tubs, out of showers,more then just verbally abused.
No kisses and hugs,no kinds of towels, I couldn't even get a pair of good shoes.
Damn it's like, What can I do?
at the age of 12 i was jumped and got beat up in my church.
Bunch of pussies couldn't fight me one on one and it get's worse.
I was the one who was kicked out, they blamed me for starting the whole thing.
Bunch of racist bastards my dad heard the whole thing when the phone rang.
My mom tried to hide it from him but she couldn't.
I can't beleive I had to deal with this bullshit.
Thats when I ran away I couldn't deal with this broken home.
I had to find a spot to stay, But i couldn't be alone.
That's when i met up wit' my first love damn she dealt with my problems too.
I wouldn't of gave up i promised her that even though what i been through.
She died a year later after we met, Her father raped and murder her some shit i cant forget.
I still see this man untill this day, man i can feel her pain, she wouldn't want revenge so i try to forgive.
At the age of 14 is when i started to talk back, i got tired of the verbal abuse.
It's a damn shame i thought by now all this shit i'd get used to it now.
When i was 15 my dad punched me in my mouth, that's when it all went loose.
After that is when I just started to act out.

Honestly I can't even finish this...it's bringing back too many memories....it's skipped around like that is because i don't remmember most my child hood.... i remmember alcohol, drugs, being beat, yelled at, and everyone fighting, shit gettin thrown around....i don't care much about the structure about the ryhming this is shit i never really told no one but 2 females know the 1 has been dead since i was like 13.....and the other one me and her just recently broke up she was my first...and i still love her....but yeah leave me some kinda feed....

[Haz]

damn it's like, what i don't understand.
How can my family expect me to be positive when theres all this negativity.
I can't stand this life, can I be a man?
Maybe it's just because all of my life I never really had no one that was there for me.
Can I make it? Constantly arguing and fighting.
I can't take this, it's ashame when i sleep with a knife and.
Damn.... damn......damn

lol i caught Ur structure^... got on Some pac Shit "sleep with a knife"

What I don't understand maybe you can understand it for me.
I've been on my own mostly all my life even before the age of fourteen. <- Peeps can Relate
Can you see my pain? Can you feel what I feel.
It's just ashame, how my mom almost died on pills. <- emotion brought


She died a year later after we met, Her father raped and murder her some shit i cant forget.
I still see this man untill this day, man i can feel her pain, she wouldn't want revenge so i try to forgive.
At the age of 14 is when i started to talk back, i got tired of the verbal abuse.
It's a damn shame i thought by now all this shit i'd get used to it now.
When i was 15 my dad punched me in my mouth, that's when it all went loose.
After that is when I just started to act out. <<- u Finished it strong

Over all it was a Good piece.. it Was LONG as fuck.. Buts its Fine cause i Give the Bes ( Feed) lol
that Was a Real Nice Finisher.. Cant Doing You.. Sorry For ya Losses & Whut Not..
She tried to kill herself when i was younger and that i just don't understand.
It's just so hard i had no one else, My father drug me under forcing me to be a man. < my Father drug me
forcing me to be a man - Intense Line son

[thaphantom]

Thanks for the feed..uppin for more feeds? i will finish this or make a part two...

[Omega Bill]

I thought left feed on this.

This was really deep stuff man. This stuff is really hard to write and Im giving you props to do it. The whole thing was solid and when I was reading in my head I was picturing all this and that to means more than anything because if you can tell a story and captivate someone to imagine they are there, definetly got talent and emotion in that piece.

[thaphantom]

thanks man...i'm working on part two as we speak...it's just hard to get all of my life out though...because i have alot of memories that i tried to hide...and stuff i don't remmember uppin for my feed...thanks for all feeds so far

[Ambiguous Realm]

not bad for a poem that was freestyled, the story was pretty deep

[Brah-Vo]

Shit man.
Props.
For a freestyle, shit was dope.
I caught onto your rhyme scheme fairly quickly so it's iight.
Shit was deep, emotion filled and everything.
This was tight man.
Keep up.