Lifes Accomplishment

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Wed May 14, 2008 2:43 pm

First DC Drop i think ever.
just figured id try poetry and see the response id get.

eyes are stuck together,darkness...
use my will power to open them,hope...
see nothing but the demons,hell...
fight a red war to talk to angels,heaven

white lights,stuck in a deep sleep...
cant move,floor refuses to meet feet...
nothing moves,motionless shadows...
feels nothing,emotionless windows...

blue lights tighten up my body,possessed...
body twisting violently upwards,floating...
eyes burst through the skin,vision...
realize what to live for,death...

*.HarleQuin.* · Post by ***.HarleQuin.*** » Fri May 16, 2008 8:50 am

ur a lot better at poetry than texting
only thing i didnt like was the scheme
u went from not rhyming to a little then no rhyming
but theres nothing like that poetry can be written
how u want and is less organized than texting
no quotables but id like to see more

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Fri May 16, 2008 1:54 pm

ehh i tried a new scheme that i never tried i usually do free verses. but ive been writting poetry for while.
i kinda didnt wanna show illest my personal stuff like that but fuck it. thanks for the feed tho i really appreciate it alot.

Omega Bill · Post by **Omega Bill** » Fri May 16, 2008 4:30 pm

This wasn't bad, man.

Like I told you, you're better at poetry than you are texting/battling. I think you should do more poetry and see where that leads you. Like Harle said, the scheme kinda threw me off just because it went from no rhyming, to rhyming, to no rhyming, it kinda throws off the feel of the poem.

Stay up. Keep droppin' them poems.

something-different-vt8972.html

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Tue May 20, 2008 5:37 am

thanks man appreciate tha feed. UPPIN

|.R.SON.aLL.| · Post by **|.R.SON.aLL.|** » Tue May 20, 2008 2:01 pm

This Shit Was actually Nice ..
Lol ..
Waaay Better Than Them Text Battles ..
Damn ..Shit Was Kinda Deep Man ..
Props ..I Felt it

Chicago · Post by **Chicago** » Tue May 20, 2008 6:44 pm

well i dont kno how u text but that poem was . . . different. Reminded me of one of them poetry dives where mufucka dressed in all black come up and monotonously drone on about negative shit. I mean u gave a good stab at it, and i actually liked the content. Just try a different scheme and ull be alright

-!$Chicago$!

Dead Silence · Post by **Dead Silence** » Wed May 21, 2008 6:39 am

thanks u 2

Lifes Accomplishment

Lifes Accomplishment

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