Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Chain Reaction

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
Haz
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 6800
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
Wins: 67
Losses: 70
Location: The Port

Chain Reaction

Post by Haz »

Listen..
(J.Roc Was his Name)

he Sat on a hot block through cold nights
Saying i got rocs living the Same old Life
Mother Knew he sold,white she Said
"you have one life" he was never Told Twice..
Still he was up and runnin not givin a fuck whats comin
his way, his day was about gettin bucks and stunnin
the ladys he dugg the most so he sold Drugs,and.toast
copped a benz the thug wuld boast how he loves 2 coast
the streets of death..glove box filled with Heat and meth
not hearin his mother he "beat the deaf" feelin he'd never Meet regret
in Bed "under covers sleepin" while under covers Sneekin..
around his crib "searchin 4 packs" like whats around his ribs..
he had no Clue like joe buddin,still packin crack in wud he use 2 throw budd in..
walkin in da "Redzone" like Bros Bluddin..the word Freeze was sooo Suddin..

.......

( His Mother)

Dear J, im writin.you hopin theres might.in.you,
to fight.ya.way thru da storm & See a brighta day..
hope u kno in my hand a lighta.stays im chain smokin..
the pains soakin thru me as the needle has my vains pokin..
out.my.wrist..Living in this lonely houses.a.risk...
i'm stuck,in.denial your about 2 get fucked,in a trial..
why! cause i didnt raise you right? these days & nights
are filled with tears cause theres no Jay in sight...
I wanna leave this world but i Stay and write..
i Pray & fight..with myself u'll get out.. O..K you might..
If u dont get it..i'm Unsure about ya fate..
why were u sellin like ya kitchen table wus With out a plate??
the systems crooked..i really doubt your straight...
I Love you but im gone the Pills r in my Mouth..2.Late...

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/step- ... html#78807
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/this- ... t9172.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/what- ... 66d5dc3b4a
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/sick- ... 66d5dc3b4a
Last edited by Haz on Sat May 31, 2008 1:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
- Mutual -
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 4442
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am
Wins: 5
Losses: 11
Location: Dont Live In One

Post by - Mutual - »

ohh shit i loved it 10/10 nice shit

in Bed "under covers sleepin" while under covers Sneekin..
around his crib "searchin 4 packs" like whats around his ribs..
he had no Clue like joe buddin,still packin crack in wud he use 2 throw budd in..
walkin in da "Redzone" like Bros Bluddin..the word Freeze was sooo Suddin..

man my fave bit ^
this shit was very tight and the ending nice suprise
new shit

the systems crooked..i really doubt your straight...
I Love you but im gone the Pills r in my Mouth..2.Late...

Keep'em Comin
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
Image
User avatar
-TraMaTiK-
Unstoppable Emcee
Offline
Posts: 2046
Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:59 am
Wins: 6
Losses: 17

Post by -TraMaTiK- »

2 many quoteables in this piece ta list em all,which iz a good thing..newaayz,flow wuz good son,some nice multis here n there but i dont think u tried ur best in that area of writin..concept wuz good glad'ta see u steppin away from the whole agressive shit n do somethin else,this wuz pretty nice man,u gettin ur joe budden on lol stay@it man peace
Haz
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 6800
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
Wins: 67
Losses: 70
Location: The Port

Post by Haz »

Uppin 4 Feed..
Image
User avatar
Panama
Potential Emcee
Offline
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:37 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0

Post by Panama »

Very sick with it... this was an ill topical...

You tore this shit up nice... good job fam...
User avatar
Omega Bill
Unstoppable Emcee
Offline
Posts: 2313
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:56 am
Wins: 23
Losses: 17
Location: New Boston

Post by Omega Bill »

[font=Comic Sans MS]Damn man.

Like Tram said the whole piece was a fucking quoteable.

Definetley killed this entire topic man. The mother's part was real strong, real deep, and real good.

Loved the whole thing homie. I dunno about it being absolutely perfect, but this was definetley like a 9.5 man.

Keep dropping stuff like this. It's a breath of fresh air to read this kind of stuff from you and you're killing it.[/font]
Image
User avatar
precise
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 2435
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 6:08 am
Wins: 20
Losses: 7

Post by precise »

sick shit man i loved it, youve elevated alot since ive left, congrats bro
Image


facin me? its mission impossible, like pickin up lesbian broads
fuck all these thespian frauds, they "bug me" like espionage
User avatar
Cee4
Rhyme Dominator
Offline
Posts: 2846
Joined: Thu May 31, 2007 9:52 pm
Wins: 58
Losses: 16

Post by Cee4 »

this was nice. a lot different from your usual drops i liked it.

the first section was straight but the half from the mothers perspective killed it.

Dear J, im writin.you hopin theres might.in.you,
to fight.ya.way thru da storm & See a brighta day..
hope u kno in my hand a lighta.stays im chain smokin..
the pains soakin thru me as the needle has my vains pokin..
out.my.wrist..Living in this lonely houses.a.risk...
i'm stuck,in.denial your about 2 get fucked,in a trial..
why! cause i didnt raise you right? these days & nights
are filled with tears cause theres no Jay in sight...
I wanna leave this world but i Stay and write..
i Pray & fight..with myself u'll get out.. O..K you might..
If u dont get it..i'm Unsure about ya fate..
why were u sellin like ya kitchen table wus With out a plate??
the systems crooked..i really doubt your straight...
I Love you but im gone the Pills r in my Mouth..2.Late...


yep the whole second section was a quotable

this was one of my favourite pieces from you. 9/10
Image
Image
User avatar
Dead Silence
God's Given Curse
Offline
Posts: 3303
Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 9:34 am
Wins: 6
Losses: 34
Location: Bloomsburg, PA

Post by Dead Silence »

10/10

amazing. keep this shit up. i smell a new writtin champion
Faith
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests