BAR for BAr FEED PLZ (Battle Verse 16lines)

[K KiLLaH]

I won this by ho-show and didnt get the natural feed i woulda got from voters just want a lil recognition n constructive criticism ya dig?

My Opponent was OSTEE for name n word play recognition

Git brandished backhanded in granite ya face planted/
Text rocks ya DESKTOP and makes ya DISPLAY PANICK/
Fuck this crazed manic who shades lamite n stays frantic/
O Couldn't BLOW with his MOTHERS PROFESSION and GAY ANTICS/
Ta hell wit this fake damnit I'm rocking ya world chump/
Im da reason STEE JUST BREEZED in and LOST IN HIS GIRLS CUNT/
Im HUNGRY THIS HERBS LUNCH i'll eat OS-TEE like a LOCUST/
Try ta PICK A BONE with KiLLaH n catch OSTEEoperosis/
Yeah Im cocky but i'm focused with my stylus clutched/
SNEEZE on ya verse n BLESS YOU cuz ya STYLE IS DUST/
I'll exile ya bluffs ta the ground i'll lodge ya/
Punches leave you DEADBEAT like they FOUND YA FATHA/
Im da hotta maurauder who viscously blaze keys/
So DOPE i'll have ya sniffing my lines like a A V/(basehead)
Flows Colder den AC's when rapping this joke should cowa/
Cuz when KiLLaH KICKS a verse i'll JAP AN "O" like OKINAWA/

[ÐÛÇ£»]

IDK Why..but I Think your style is creative..
kinda like crimson but in short bar style


punches were creative..some of the punches lacked the sting tho

overall this was a cool/breeze verse
I Liked the osteoporosis line...and the display panic line (thought that was sick)

Nice verse fam...just try to polish it and work on consistency with verses..
The gay antics line/blow was very played..
girls cunt line was weak..other then that..the bars were nice...

[Ambiguous Realm]

some of it seemed forced or just effortless, but for the most part it was pretty good, not gonna do a bar for bar cause i rarely even do that in votes but the rhymescheme was decent, nothin out of this world, some of the punches were funny, got creative with his name but didn't find that too effective, overall i'd give it a 6.5/10