Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Love Begins and Ends

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
QwarterZ
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1688
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:01 am
Wins: 4
Losses: 9

Love Begins and Ends

Post by QwarterZ »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS11Lnd-qGY
It begins.........

Our scene starts at the end of the day
where all our senses stray, beauty descends again
see the world is less stressful then again
it depends on when you caught by the glisten then
the seconds tick slower then time slows down
your mind starts trailin' your girl starts gigglin'
now......
she's dreamin' of children you thinkin' of hittin' it
that's how I picture it, but maybe if your listenin'
she might see that inside you is different and distant...
very common factor while she's fallin' in love
your fallin' backwards
you'd do anything for her, we could call it valor
nothing came between you maybe a couple dollars
factor that in, then you got yourself a thought of disaster
mixed between emotions, weed, writers block and alot of stanza's
you reach the end of the line, that's where she calls for a Danza
taxi cab arrives now you tryna utter words you never knew
even with whatever dispute, or everything that you'd ever do
you always knew that forever grew from the mind of depth n grew
formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew
the tears drip from her eyes as you start to look into hers
you try to utter the words, then your body gets too heated for words
your mindstate is shock, and sight is losin' it's central nerve
you think your goin' into a stroke, everythin' in your mind is a blur
your body starts shakin', you get colder by the second and all you heard
was a loud noise from behind, all you see is the look in her eyes
you fall to the ground, tryna utter the last words to your life
the one who made life in this world pass by, as she falls into your arms
another sound comes much clearer, the night lights up causin' alarm
now the only thing that could do you harm, is the wrong route to Allah
religion plays loosely, but so do prayers when your fallin' apart
with these last few seconds you see the killers face
as the flame fills the place and causes tend to build it's case
you try to awake past the tears that you been cryin' on your pillow case..........

the end..............
Last edited by QwarterZ on Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Colossus
Rhyme Master
Offline
Posts: 186
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:34 am
Wins: 7
Losses: 2

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by Colossus »

Perfect beat for story telling. Very vintage feel. I feel like you should have used stronger rhyming in some parts but in other parts your rhyming was perfect. Good build and story line, but near the end it got a bit cloudy for me. Good imagery, not amazing, but good imagery none the less. Overall I enjoyed it. A good read. Image


Hit me back if possible: The Slaughter
Image
~The Champ Must Demand Greatness From Himself Or Be Another Contender~
User avatar
QwarterZ
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1688
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:01 am
Wins: 4
Losses: 9

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by QwarterZ »

this nukka.....
User avatar
Quix
Unstoppable Emcee
Offline
Posts: 2208
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 3:31 pm
Wins: 89
Losses: 29
No Shows: 1

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by Quix »

I liked it main!!


taxi cab arrives now you tryna utter words you never knew
even with whatever dispute, or everything that you'd ever do
you always knew that forever grew from the mind of depth n grew
formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew


Ill ^^ nice flow, Content was strong!
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

Image
Awards:
2009 Text diss of the year
2009 Most Hated
2011 Battler Of the Year
User avatar
Borat
Lazy Ass
Offline
Posts: 802
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:25 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 2
No Shows: 1

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by Borat »

CLAP...........CLAP...........CLAP.........CLAP........CLAP......CLAP.....CLAP....CLAP...CLAP..CLAP.CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!!!!!!!!!!!

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
POET OF THE YEAR 2011
Image
I'm often soft like cotton but my message is clear, my words hold weight like "dumbos" ears.
Image
Image
User avatar
QwarterZ
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1688
Joined: Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:01 am
Wins: 4
Losses: 9

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by QwarterZ »

oh and this = )
User avatar
FlipSide
Flow Creation
Flow Creation
Offline
Posts: 1473
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:37 am
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Location: Chicago IL
Contact:

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by FlipSide »

formin' a flower that was dug up, then it was left to you
the florescent view, leaves a state of mind of whether you...
could man up inside, just to say the things that she meant to you
now every sense is blew, cry is all she was left to dew
This was def standing out when i read it
you try to utter the words, then your body gets too heated for words
your mindstate is shock, and sight is losin' it's central nerve
you think your goin' into a stroke, everythin' in your mind is a blur
nice emo build up here for real
now the only thing that could do you harm, is the wrong route to Allah
religion plays loosely, but so do prayers when your fallin' apart
This is a sick ass line to me

I gotta say this was a worthy drop... long as hell but enjoyed reading it... nice lil topic... crazy ass dream too... Purrdy captivating
BANG BANG!!!! I Shot U Down
̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -
Image
User avatar
The Gonz
Flow Creation
Flow Creation
Offline
Posts: 1113
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:33 pm
Wins: 1
Losses: 2000
Location: A position higher than you

Re: Love Begins and Ends

Post by The Gonz »

Very poetic. I don't think I've seen this side of you lyrically. Good shit, had a good rhythm to it, awesome imagery. Some of the rhymes were a tad off, but I don't think its a big issue for the most part. This just seems more like Distilled Concepts material. Bravo for switchin shit up.
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests