Freestyle #1

[Find You]

Check the syllable mathematics
breaking shit down
not too many can handle it

when I start talking with
my hands eyes keep moving
because of what I'm doing
always mad confusing

I got you coughing blood up
so stand up
or shut the fuck up

cuz I need no stress
for bullet holes
to appear in yo chest

and it is my fault
and I did remember it
born where you die
until I take away yo membership

Mc's who had lip
are now back in school
Like DAS EFX
taking classes

life's a bitch
with the diseases and rashes
menopause periods and Hot Flashes

[Markb]

Everything about it read Simplistically, everything lacked in complexity and prosperity
No usages of mulit's, meta's or concepts to be displayed, with only a basic one word rhyme scheme
Lengthen your lines to produce a sentence, usages of set up lines leading to a punch or delivery of meaning

~Mark~

[FlipSide]

Pretty Simple Here.. Seems Like U Just Started Text Writing. i Can See How U Can Make This Deliver In Audio But It Would be Very Short For That As Well. Id Say Think Of A Topic And Put Something Down On Paper That Would Include A lil More Imagination And word play. as in metaphores and multiple rhyming syllables...