read beteween the lines

[FatalX]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/fallin-vt20577.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/warning-vt20560.html

^^^^gave feed 2 those 2^^^^
______________________________________________________
chorus:(I imagine it being sung w/some acapella)
when everything youve ever knew,....was just a lie
then the only thing you wanna know....is the reason why

If misery loves company,then I guess were in business/
you know its...getting bad,when your the only one on your hitlist//
you see I....can't lie,now that my burdon is truth//
my perspectives have shifted>I'm on the verge of murdering you//
I know it hurting me too,all this talk with reflections//
if these mirrors could talk,would they mock my expressions//
or stop me when I ask,...gridlocking these questions//
when all I seek is an answer,because I forgot the suggestions//
of...how to live....better yet of how to give a shit//
about the world that surrounds me,and every moment Im living in//
you see I would have done this sooner,but I've been chasing dividends//
kinda like the way a womans sought,by the hunt of many men//
it ain't a front Im giving in to what they call an inner child//
even though the ignorant would probably call me a "pedophile"//
am I sick and twisted,so called mentally unstable//
I know I dont wanna live a lie so i put this on the table//

(I am kinda drunk so I know this could have been keyed better but I felt like writing and I think there are some decent lines in there but please give feed....thx)

-- Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:23 am --

also if anyone wants to roll off this feel free

[JohnnyBlaze]

first off thx 4 the feed
and also i like your linesthe flow is nice and smooth
the rhmyes r sick to bro yo tht mirrors mockin your expressions part was so put together like i saw a visual of what u ment
keep writin....peace....

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[NoVeL]

I know it hurting me too,all this talk with reflections//
if these mirrors could talk,would they mock my expressions//

Out of your whole drop this was the best line you had. I would scrap the rest and think of a concept to go with your title. A decent read for a beginner, but I think you're more capable than that.

[QwarterZ]

This was an ok piece, didn't really hit me as deep
for the most part it seemed like you were tryna keep the rhyme goin'
which is cool, but with a hook like that, you need to get deeper
and really bring out what your tryna say
that's what really makes a song more listenable
if all components are complimenting each other
you know what I mean, either way a nice lil' piece
keep writing my dude!

[FatalX]

well like I said I was drunk......thx for the honest feed I appreciate it