crazy shit

[Moneymaker]

Fuck hannibal lector
Ill smack you with a nector
Reen cut your eyes out
Turn it around so you can see yourself scream
Then ill ask freddy krueger
To come visit me in a dream
When he gets there i take jasons
Head out- hit him a couple times
till he is on his knees
Beggin please saying heres my keys
I take the keys and poke his troat
All you want to be killers better take note
I aint one to push
Cause ill fuck your girl in the tush

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[FatalX]

you need to be proofreading

[Moneymaker]

People please post a feedback.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Grim]

not bad idea but the execution is off...some of your punches didn't make sense....smack you with a nectar? keep at it though and yes we can battle if you like but you need ten posts or comments to battle...just comment on songs...if you want a battle i'll set it up with the rules and time limit

[Orfadox]

Turn it around so you can see yourself scream
Then ill ask freddy krueger
To come visit me in a dream
When he gets there i take jasons
Head out- hit him a couple times






Tell Me Where This Makes Sense?



My Advice Is Take Alook At The Writtens From Page 7 Onwards And Take Tips From There

[Moneymaker]

Grimm set it up

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Flowetry]

No multies that I can see, no wordplay, and bad rhyme structure. It seems to me you just need more knowledge, it's not just rhyming words, it's much more.

[thadevious1]

you should try an make whole sentences
cause this is just played rhyme after played rhyme
and no real depth to it
improve your writing skills
like flowetry is sayin and start getting to grips with the basics