difficult

[powerwhee]

A verse to the instrumental difficult by eminem tell me what you guys think critiscm would be appreciated! I know its a little whiney but that beat is I think made for this type of verse.


this life is so hard and my ship is sinking down to the ground without making a sound

i have failed them all why have they crowned me and then left me to drown

no applause for me now just a pause and a frown
my heartstrings unwound
raw wounds turn into flesh wounds
the knife bruised the part of me that is of only use

stout and true broken in two held together with glue

a captain never leaves his ship hes been through all of it and cant handle it

dismantled bits once closely knit always submit to being split
but pride wont permit
completely unfit to give in or acquit

stand when you can't
grand is the man who does his job with broken hands

so what if the fall broke your legs crawl

fuckin bawl while you crawl just dont fuckin sprawl and aimlessly drawl

dont stand tall cause you'll only feel fuckin small

youll reach em eventually
because essentially

we crawled till we were mentally
prepared to handle exponetially

the weight of our bodies
and you know we are rotting

from the day we start logging
hours into these fuckin withering flowers and corpses and homes we call ours

but if theres one thing i know weve got powers

our legs can become towers our shoulders like boulders

to hold the weight of the world hurled on us by our molders

[Grim]

i like this alot..it was eep and seemed emotionally heart felt....nice...it went off it small spots but real nice....good vocab...the only thing i can say is that i don't like the lines so seperated...makes reading it odd...but overall solid post....it did flow to the beat for me but i sped it up a little when i rapped it...

-- Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:45 pm --

i like this alot..it was eep and seemed emotionally heart felt....nice...it went off it small spots but real nice....good vocab...the only thing i can say is that i don't like the lines so seperated...makes reading it odd...but overall solid post....it did flow to the beat for me but i sped it up a little when i rapped it...respect bro

[powerwhee]

Thanks alot your critiscm is appreciated. Which part would you say fell off and needs tightening up? I have trouble connecting rhymes together with a cohesive idea I guess practice makes perfect. And strangely enough I wasn't in any kind of bad situation or anything, the beat just kinda painted these words into my head