Nightmares in Sequnce...New to writing. Reviews?

[JayRiggs]

My day of reckoning has come to it’s end, my head and my pillow
Finally friends again. My mind is renderin thoughts from a world
Beyond. So tentative when my sleep is responsive to my wishes
And dreams and lucrative they may seem, they’re lucid and teemed
With a Lucifer theme.

Reamed through the ringer round a scorpion’s
Stinger, stingin and bringin me thrillings and demons. Chilled and
Screamin like a creamsicle straight from the freezer. You know I’m just
Teasin, now back to my dreamin. See it leads without reason to the
To the freezing, that bitter cold season. Less than warm wind replacing
My breathin,

What was that season? it’s leavin me winded. We’ll call it
Winter, when was the last time my sleep was warmer than December?
I can’t remember so I’ll take my bitterness and sprint with it.

Take it in Stride, my dreams are takin my pride replace it with a fear that stems
From deep inside. Into a tree made of weakness, my horror just peaks
When I’m so deep into dream, I’m more than sleepin. And then I start
Freakin, melatonin got me tweaked with a leak in the pretense. Dreams
In sequence, expect no credence, but a fearsome grievance of images that
Have me seethin.

Dream catchers weaved but I’m misperceived into thinking
I can believe in the power of these, see they only hold dreams, but nightmares
It seems, can slip through the weaving conceiving the grief thing. Locked in a
Precinct of my inner being I try to leave it but they don’t see it. Prisoner of
My own got me broken and bleeding. Blood leakin, exceeding the speed of
Stampeding steeds. The way I see it, I’m trying to flee but I see the end comin
After the life in me.

As soon as break free of the leash, I hear a faint sound
Just up outta my reach. I’m shook from my sleep and can’t help but weep over
The emotions I’ve heaped from a feelin so deep

[Defiance]

dude your barrs are fucked off.. messed up the flow..

but it was good once i got that there was a rhyme scheme to it..

work on an end rhyme.. next line shit man