Things off my chest...

[MesaR]

http://illestlyrics.com/board/post13358.html#13358

: Freeflo :

Strength Through My Veins Alderien Pumping Chancing-the-Game//
Fake Imitators Playing There Name While I'm Stuck back Glancing-The-Fame//
I'm Stuck with Fake People For There Rest of My Life Im Sick Of This Player-Hating//
No One Can Stop Me Elevating Till I'm Ready But For Now I'm Hear patiently-waitin/
I've got Rap In The Palm of my Hand Im Not Letting go For Now The-Bars-Are-Mine//
Earn Respect We All Got Time Think Straight and Even The Lowest- Stars-Will-Shine//
More Mind Control Then My Average age well… fuck the fags- and -bitches//
Born In The City I Was Considered Nothing Look at Me Now Im Hear From Rags-to-Riches//
I Get Goosebumps down my Back Filled with Pain And Suffer Tha heat melts-the-chills//
Nothing Can Beat Young Talent Its The Best Felling Knowing Ya 12 and your-Bringin-The-skills//

[Typeo]

not too bad, could of been organized better. But a decent message put through thats easy enough to read.

The mutlis ain't too bad, but some seem a lil forced. And you try to label some that arn't even multis. Don't do that, its less appealing.

I dunno what to give it...I guess since I havn't read much from you, about a 4 or 5. Its just sloppy, even though its decently writen. Delivery is key.

[Haz]

This Was A Alright Piece Of Work
You Had Multis Some Didnt Flow Thru The
Exact Way You Would Want Them But It Happens
The Structure Was Pretty Str8 To Me Though
I Didnt Look At As Sloppy Really
Favorite Lines : "I've got Rap In The Palm of my Hand Im Not Letting go For Now The-Bars-Are-Mine//
Earn Respect We All Got Time Think Straight and Even The Lowest- Stars-Will-Shine//"

Keep Doin You `1

[Mac]

I didn't Even See This Thread, That's "One" Of The Best Pieces I've Seen You Drop Though. To Me This Should Of Went In The Scriptures Forum Slot But That's My Opinion, I Agree With Hazard As Far As My Favorite Line. Good Shit Man, Keep Dropping. Be Easy.

[TwIzTiD]

Not bad, still elivatin.

[drunken jesus]

you're improving steadily

some of the multis aren't as fluid as they could be, but this was pretty dope for a venting piece, just keep practicing and you'll elevate even more

[16 Micz]

like killah said u r improving quite a bit in such a short period of time fortunately im still the best teenager u know but ur catchin up man if u wanna be serious about it, get to recording man u should get some practice in as early as possible u have some time to grow if u keep writing and shit ull get better keep it up, as far as the verse i liked it, some dope multies i see. ur developing some skills of an artist real quick keep it up

fav line: More Mind Control Then My Average age well… fuck the fags- and -bitches//
Born In The City I Was Considered Nothing Look at Me Now Im Hear From Rags-to-Riches//