Freestyle Piece

[B-Bear]

This was more of a freestyle then a scripture, but posting it anyhow.. my mind sorta flew, so understand if u're sayin shit's off point..

I'm handed a loaf of bread, an little inch of hope
imprisoned by laws written by men ages ago
my inner rage flow lethally like the black death
writin my biography based on my last breath
like akilles I want to be remembered by people
by men, immortal or lethal, dead or alive
that the strongest survive is what everybody think
a pill in your drink is enough to fuck up your shit
time look in between the lines of ya life manuscript
but i've decided on bein my own director of life
where my brain's starrin as the lead of my movie
all decisions made go through me like a dictator
I'm the head investigator and I administrate
consider me the modern moses writin my laws on slates
laws known as lyrics the provoke and teach hate
jaws bite in hysterics, tryin to rip my head off
it just ignite my lyrics and the eager inside me
that provide me with desire to rewrite lines of history
what if hitler was gandhi and my mom the mona lisa?
what if my dick was the leaning tower of pisa?
would ladies still admire it and say that shit's art?
or cut it off, leave my to bleed and stab my heart
already a sick world, and it's about to be sicker
gansgtas worry bout who blast quicker then the other
but do they really bother? life aint dependent on a gun
it your choices and the adult voices counclin u
guide u into the right path away from mad peoples wrath
life may come quckly to a closure in many ways
it's important to handle with composure during raw days
no use in wrappin up your future in an shiny enclosure
if it really aint worth livin, think bout what u're given
and maybe u'll reconsider thoughts and actions u've made
I don't ask for much...


http://illestlyrics.com/board/untitled-vt4177.html

[~*Blitz*~]

I like the moral of the story ;p nah the content was cool but I got lost in it a few times and had to go back and re-read that line again. But it was a cool drop, keep @ it

[B-Bear]

yeah, had been expectin that... lol.. but appreciate u takin time to read..

[precise]

not bad. you did kinda jump from idea to idea without expanding on them really, but you said it was more of a freewrite so not a problem, good achillies reference, considering he was "invincible" n everything n went down from an arrow through his heel endin his career lol it fit the storyline that ya kinda had goin

my inner rage flow lethally like the black death
writin my biography based on my last breath

good opening ^^

overall it was pretty decent good job

[B-Bear]

aiit.. thanks.. haha, didn't really think muh bout that part of achillies life tho.. didn't even get his name right.. lol..

[B-Bear]

uppin

[16 Micz]

pretty dope man..i like your style..like how u can write some cool shit but still keep it intelligent and worth reading, keep it up man the more i read from u, the better u seem

[SlickMex]

liked the flow n use of words..Good drop..

[B-Bear]

thanks.. appreciate it.. good lookin out 16 micz and slickmex.. uppin