Out Of My Mind

[complexity]

Ayo, I hold my nine with prestige, as I walk the streets
my pop believed, that talk was cheap
so when I come across the heat, I let my weapon speak
it sparks, I cant breathe, pop aleve
to relieve the pain, the nights get darker, snort cocaine
the more I somber, I cant see the same
I flee the scene, police sirens screaming my name
I start day dreaming, about this evening
leaving my young one at home, I didnt even see him
I remember squeezing that gun, freeing
the demons from my brain, than seeing my son
freezing in the rain, with nowhere to run
I picture him stuck in a wheel chair, and Im not there
to save him from, the block, a nightmare
Wes Craven, a shot, I just want to share my thoughts
to him but I dont even know where I am
Im lost, I cant get myself out, there I am, I stop
pull the gat out, drop it, in front of a house
watch it fall, pick it back up, cuz Im reminded of myself
a kid might find it, and release the evil
from within himself, it felt even colder than before
like someone else held it for a while
they must have had cold hands, what if the child
from that house, took it while I was thinking
I let that thought sink in, and run up to the steps
hide the gun behind my back, break in
find the child and take him, outside, my body shaking
we drive, I tell him to smile, but he cries
I scream did you shoot my gun, he denies my accusations
i turn side ways to face him, look at his eyes
so innocent inside, I cant make him, tell me the truth
I know kids lie, I stop the car, he says Pops

I say Im not your father, he keeps crying, claiming I am
I said my child knows better than to shoot a gun
and I shoot him