Freestyle'd poem: What I don't understand part 2

[thaphantom]

What I don't understand damn it's like life is just so hard.
I used to get called into the house just to pick something up that was right next to them.
I'm glad i didn't know my dad when he went out to the bar.
I couldn't go out much so I was really just forced to make up my friends.
My shadow was my only friend sometimes still untill this day.
I'm losing faith there's really no reason at all to pray.
I'm a lost seed, Everyday my heart bleeds, Over and over again the pains exhausting.
I can't see, Can someone just help me, The pains closing my eyes and making me un-able to breath.
can you tell me why, my grandfather had to die, him and my grandmother both died on december 9th.
One year apart and no they weren't together, died the exact time and that don't make me feel better.
I'm tired of lies, Every time that I try, Everytime I get close to someone they just happen to die.
I'm losing my mind it's just so ruff, I used to not like to fight i wasn't tuff, Even though I had enough.
I got to the point of suicide, Where everything I did it was on my mind, Every breath i can see my demise.
I didn't understand why I had to be the minority, Yes i'm white but there's more blacks and ricans in my city.
Wouldn't nothing at all i mean nothing work for me, My whole life I was the one that was treated shitty.
There wasn't nothin you couldn't give me, everything i'd accept.
We we're broke my brother got locked up because of fake checks.
So what I wonder why is it only the whites would get mad when i said "Nigga"
Never at all in my life have I been knocked by any black person for that i just couldn't figure.
Why does it have to be so hard, Damn that's what I don't understand.
I can't find a job there ain't shit here I can barely stand.
Everyday I have to watch my back in my own home.
My brothers tried to kill me damn I wish i was alone.
But I don't because i'm autophobe ick.[autophobic fear of being alone]
It's hard when i'm alone I get sick.
That's why I used to have teddy bears and i'd imagine they were a person.
Just so I wouldn't be scarred and I wouldn't get hurt none.
It's just so much goin on in my life, I lost the one person i just started to trust.
She up and left me right when i tried my best for there to be a us.
But I see that there's still some kind of love for me in her heart.
It's just damn I wouldn't know where at all to start.
I have alot of pain can't you see what's going on in my life?
I'm struggling just to keep my head above and fight.
What I don't understand, Do you understand my pain?
What I don't understand, it's driving me insane.
What I don't understand, What I don't understand.
that's all that I can ask.
What I don't understand, What I don't understand.
Can I get over my past.
I get shot at almost everyday, am I goin' to see my death is all that i wonder.
I'm lost on all my words today, I'm getting close to going under.


Ok I can't write no more again i guess there's going to be part 3...Looking for some feed on my stuff...thanks for all the people who show'd feed on my first one...i'm trying to hold my emotions in i dont feel like crying my head already hurts

[Ambiguous Realm]

i liked this one better then the first as far as the rhymescheme goes, nothing impressive either

the story's pretty good and there's a nice amount of emotion in it

[Brah-Vo]

Emotion wise, and story wise,
number 1 was better.
This had a better flow and better structure, but number 1 was more raw.
This was still koo though. Nice work.