Creepin In Ya House

[Cazmatrolium]

I dont like you so i was gonna creep in ya house to snipe you
Set loose my Pitbull to fright you, attack you and bite you
But i came accross ya mother instead, she was lyin in bed
I debated whether to rape her while she slept or wake her for some head
So i went right ahead and climbed in, pulled back my foreskin
I was lookin to slip my dick right in but i banged my knee on her shin
It caused her to wake up smeerin her make-up but she had a big grin
She said "oh baby what you gonna do with that thing"
I was like "Ima put inside you bitch what da fuck do you think"
Without even offerin a drink she opened her legs then gave me a wink
She said "go ahead big boy show me what you got" and lifted her top
But that was it i shot, i blew right on da spot, cum every last drop
Pulled my pants over my semi flop and ran out da house
Forgot my posin pouch and on da way out i tripped over da couch

[Arvincible]

lmao thats kinda gross muthafucka


She said "go ahead big boy show me what you got" and lifted her top
But that was it i shot, i blew right on da spot, cum every last drop

lol u came right after she sed u can fuck her lol!!!!
can somebody say...PREMATURE EJACULATION!!

lol jk man it was an ok piece, it was a bit entertaining
but IMO i think that the topic was a bit immature, really
the rhyme scheme alright and the structure was decent
but again, u need to work on the other elements of ur flow
u have potential. and yet anybody who puts effort into writing
something like this could try and step it up. keep doin ur thing
and maybe when ur elevated enough u can battle me. peace

[Haz]

But i came accross ya mother instead, she was lyin in bed
I debated whether to rape her while she slept or wake her for some head < LMAO
Dat Second Line had Me diein

u come Wid Some Pretty Weird Shit in da Scriptures
LMAO its Original Though, Thats Goood
flow was On Point, LoL the Story Line was ok
it made Me Laugh , Didnt Seem hardcore More like a Comedy
you Might wanna make your Verses a Lil More Complex

Other Den Dat Strait Drop

& Stay Active My Dood

[Meta-the-DEMON]

It's simplistic but atleast you told a story with it. I think you should try hitting on a deeper, more meaningful topic.... But I will give you props, I did NOT see the premature ejaculation twist coming... So that shows sparks of creativity that you were able to take me through the story and throw me a curve-ball that not only did I not predict but it made the verse end in the exact opposite way that I expected it to... I was thinking "Oh great.. another self-glorifying rhyme about fucking someone's mom"... But with the curve-ball you actually stripped away your manhood instead of dully reinforcing it...... So props. Keep writing man.

[Cazmatrolium]

Thanks for da feed, i'll keep workin on my shit.

[Glamtrash]

Lmao, well, if nothing else, you've got quite the imagination.....I hope.

[WILDBILLISAGUIDOFAGGIT]

Too simplistic...Just keep working on it and hitting up them cyphers...Nothing too specific just keep elevating.