Keystyle. . plz feed

[MadKNiFe]

Dunno if this should be here or in 4 poetry. .check it tho

Came through the doors again and scoped some losses
Bloods smeared 'l'ova the floors because Alex threw out some flosses
I'm gutted, not at the saga but how twisted life as a thing is
I'm dimmed under the light, can'y make out what it is like i got jaundice
I can flaunt the flows when I wan' 'em
Get 'laxed again but then, the thought come back in, crawling
I'm bawling like a child who just lost her pacifier
Burnt like a quack chemist toying with acid 'FIRE'
Ok, I fiddled with the needle a bit, but I didn't mean it to hurt
I knew it would be just a little prick, I didn't mean an actual cut
Now I'm back to courtesys like Kurtis done with the houses
Cut back the agency rates, biting at my lungs are conscience-driven mouses
I'm multilingual, sure thing, but I don't have more than one word for 'sorry'
It aint my fault I'm boring, plus i tried boring out ma gory stories to ya in a hurry
Maybe friggin five months is all that it took, now it took what it shouldn't
I'm shook to my bones, my phones gone froze - my hands tryin touch it but it wouldn't
I'm wound and bound, about to exhale but i really cannot
Takin stifled breaths like a stillbirth'd child, u tryin make me cry by smackin my butt
I agree its my loss, it's a minus on my path
But all your silent treatment ain't doin nada but addin sinus to my past
I ain't scared of the world, I ain't scared of nothing
You should already know that, you already know that I don't like shoppin
And you know that I never bluff
I spit my words of the top and never stop till it's enough
I get a little comatose when handling my anger - the words come as sharp as knives
You're ma friend, you can cuss but I aint cussin back, we ain't no polygamist's wives
I never lied to ya, although I told a little twisted truths
But who are you to stand in my face and yab ya gab, i'll uproot ya like weeded roots
You can say i'm being insenstive - yo, who cares if i can't consent with this
Tiz just a mere twist of fate I ain't hit with Pride and Prejudice
I can stand on the chair to face the ceiling and shout til Heaven comes
But all I know bout this is lets make a truce because I'm right and you was wrong
I don't want to be a friend no more, I'm happy with being a little more than a foe
This is the best way to release my anger - who am I angry with? Y'all will never know

[MadKNiFe]

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post82197.html#82197

[B-Bear]

Yeah, it should be under the poem section... even tho u could argue with it being storytelling, i still don't get the feeling of hearing this on a track.. but honestly, this is good.. straight up.. it's good, didn't find a consistent rhyme scheme, but u utilize both alliteration and multies, which takes the verse beyond ordinary.. good story, first piece i've seen from u - and i really liked it.. keep doin what u do.. but if i'ma give u some advice i would've shortened the length of the bars and tried to give the verse a better structure..