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Head Above Water
Moderator: Loon E Lou
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Embed your soundclick video players with [soundclick]Song Id[/soundclick]. You can also just put [soundclick]Embed Code[/soundclick].
Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
Embed your soundclick video players with [soundclick]Song Id[/soundclick]. You can also just put [soundclick]Embed Code[/soundclick].
Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
- Viral
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Head Above Water
new solo...peep da track...leave some feed....ill return da feed
<a href='http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame'>
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___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
- Wins: 5
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- Location: Chicago
uppin


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
- Wins: 5
- Losses: 1
- Location: Chicago
much appreciated man....people r slackin on feed today...mrah!..lol...upppinnn


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
- - Mutual -
- Supreme Lyricist
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dope beat deffo
i like that Bells Piano Collabo
has a dope effect
the Lyrics were pretty much fire
had feeling into it
ya flow was pretty dope with the beat
so good listen
keep'em comin
i like that Bells Piano Collabo
has a dope effect
the Lyrics were pretty much fire
had feeling into it
ya flow was pretty dope with the beat
so good listen
keep'em comin
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect
!!ILLEST MINDS!!
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect
!!ILLEST MINDS!!

- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
- Wins: 5
- Losses: 1
- Location: Chicago
thanks for da feed...uppin


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
illy ill dawg..I'm feelin it concept everything..
yeah everybody else pretty much said it all..
Hott beat , dope flow I like change ups and transfers
in da pocket you did esp. on verse 1..
clear vocals...good shyt
yeah everybody else pretty much said it all..
Hott beat , dope flow I like change ups and transfers
in da pocket you did esp. on verse 1..
clear vocals...good shyt
http://www.datpiff.com/Tre-Tru-Petrafyn ... 19865.html
^^^
Big Island Crypt

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/first ... 11676.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/okay- ... 12393.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/tre-t ... 12597.html
http://www.zshare.net/download/6399071566e45a94/
^^Hustle Life Mixx Tape^^
[align=center]
[/align]
Ya gettin Bodied qwik chop you up like a saw mill..my Lines are 2 Raw "yeah" i should get my Bars Grilled!!!
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hgN0MacRqg&feature=fvst[/video]
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ-VXwki ... ature=plcp[/video]
It's Jah boy "Tre Tru" holla
^^^
Big Island Crypt

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/first ... 11676.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/okay- ... 12393.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/tre-t ... 12597.html
http://www.zshare.net/download/6399071566e45a94/
^^Hustle Life Mixx Tape^^
[align=center]

Ya gettin Bodied qwik chop you up like a saw mill..my Lines are 2 Raw "yeah" i should get my Bars Grilled!!!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hgN0MacRqg&feature=fvst[/video]
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ-VXwki ... ature=plcp[/video]
It's Jah boy "Tre Tru" holla
i'll listen to it once for enjoyment then for criticsm...
yeah.. track was cool.. can't hate... a good listen..
feed:
first verse - first off, the beat is great choice, it works well, and should be easy to flow on, a good head nodder... your flow at the start is great, no faults, the lyrics at the start are a little sketchy... too simple imo... "breaking apaprt like a crumb, feel like scum, being dumb" etc.. just nothing making me say.. "yeah this track is gonna be fire".. ya dig?.. next lines where cool, i would have like you to hit back to this original rhymescheme.. its was like "replacing - lacin'... then a couple of ime-ine rhyme words.. i would have liked a line ender to be rhyming with "-ation".. so it woulda been... AABBA.. rhymsscheme, imo.. it would have sounded fresher and more professionall.. flow is good, but rhymes are simple.. some good concepts.. drowned again.. sound is just for you etc.. i can feel these ideas.. just the execution is lacking imo..
hook - hook is cool.. can't hate, catchy ish, lyrically its alright for a chorus.. and somes up the piece decently.
2nd verse - opening view lines are great.. flow is smooth, can't hate... then it goes into the simple rhymes again.. blood clots, stops, not.. etc.. its not that im looking you to go canibas style.. (broken nose, pokino's, smoken those, joke's n' foes, coke em' hoes, folks'll know etc).. even there not too complex.. just something better than the single word rhymescheme and if you going to use that.. make sure each thought/phrase/line.. packs a unique though, funny concept, heavy punch, interesting crituque etc... people use their multis to get a "oh damn" reaction, as well as from punches and flow, and when your lacking lyrically.. for Me, personally.. it dont add up too well.. closer was bad.. lyrically... simple as, and stupid as lol.. no offence.. this goes near babyish.. its like me hearing.. "write alot and you'll be great, or dont and be a poopy face^ (even that has a assaonance multi lol) thats what it sounding like to me.. that last line was..
"the time is gone where you can sit back and slack
if you do, you might as well dedicate your whole life to sniffing on crack"
can you see where im coming from... it barely makes a whole lot of sense.. your saying if you relax on your writing you may as well throw your whole life away.. its just a simple thought, delivered in an unoriginal way..
i would have flipped it like..
"the times over, for you to sit back and let ya mind sober
i 'chill' wit a "blaze".. till i think fire, n' my lines colder
slack now, you can back down, my shoes say what i feel
check ya 'soul', get in control, cause someone's always on your 'heel'"
etc.. lol.. get the idea.. bit of cleverness.. doesnt have to be liquid crack for an audio.. but still has to be intelligent..
overall - im being a lyrical nazi.. jus' because.. i want to see people get better, flow was aweseom, beat was awesome, the two worked well together. It was all edited well and the track was an easy listen.. just tighten up the lyrical side (in my opinion) and your on your way..
yeah.. track was cool.. can't hate... a good listen..
feed:
first verse - first off, the beat is great choice, it works well, and should be easy to flow on, a good head nodder... your flow at the start is great, no faults, the lyrics at the start are a little sketchy... too simple imo... "breaking apaprt like a crumb, feel like scum, being dumb" etc.. just nothing making me say.. "yeah this track is gonna be fire".. ya dig?.. next lines where cool, i would have like you to hit back to this original rhymescheme.. its was like "replacing - lacin'... then a couple of ime-ine rhyme words.. i would have liked a line ender to be rhyming with "-ation".. so it woulda been... AABBA.. rhymsscheme, imo.. it would have sounded fresher and more professionall.. flow is good, but rhymes are simple.. some good concepts.. drowned again.. sound is just for you etc.. i can feel these ideas.. just the execution is lacking imo..
hook - hook is cool.. can't hate, catchy ish, lyrically its alright for a chorus.. and somes up the piece decently.
2nd verse - opening view lines are great.. flow is smooth, can't hate... then it goes into the simple rhymes again.. blood clots, stops, not.. etc.. its not that im looking you to go canibas style.. (broken nose, pokino's, smoken those, joke's n' foes, coke em' hoes, folks'll know etc).. even there not too complex.. just something better than the single word rhymescheme and if you going to use that.. make sure each thought/phrase/line.. packs a unique though, funny concept, heavy punch, interesting crituque etc... people use their multis to get a "oh damn" reaction, as well as from punches and flow, and when your lacking lyrically.. for Me, personally.. it dont add up too well.. closer was bad.. lyrically... simple as, and stupid as lol.. no offence.. this goes near babyish.. its like me hearing.. "write alot and you'll be great, or dont and be a poopy face^ (even that has a assaonance multi lol) thats what it sounding like to me.. that last line was..
"the time is gone where you can sit back and slack
if you do, you might as well dedicate your whole life to sniffing on crack"
can you see where im coming from... it barely makes a whole lot of sense.. your saying if you relax on your writing you may as well throw your whole life away.. its just a simple thought, delivered in an unoriginal way..
i would have flipped it like..
"the times over, for you to sit back and let ya mind sober
i 'chill' wit a "blaze".. till i think fire, n' my lines colder
slack now, you can back down, my shoes say what i feel
check ya 'soul', get in control, cause someone's always on your 'heel'"
etc.. lol.. get the idea.. bit of cleverness.. doesnt have to be liquid crack for an audio.. but still has to be intelligent..
overall - im being a lyrical nazi.. jus' because.. i want to see people get better, flow was aweseom, beat was awesome, the two worked well together. It was all edited well and the track was an easy listen.. just tighten up the lyrical side (in my opinion) and your on your way..

- Viral
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- Location: Chicago
appreciate da feed yall..specially magic marks 3 page essay!...lol...UPPIN!


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
- Ambiguous Realm
- Army Of Three
- Posts: 3522
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:57 pm
- Wins: 46
- Losses: 14
- No Shows: 2
- Location: Earth
- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
- Wins: 5
- Losses: 1
- Location: Chicago
thanks for da feed yall..much appreciated...expect another track comin very soon..within the next day or two


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
- Viral
- Mentally Unstable
- Posts: 3417
- Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
- Wins: 5
- Losses: 1
- Location: Chicago
thanks mayne...but wen u stop slackin..then we can get down..lol im in the studio everyday....i live here remember?..haha...so get ur ass over here...n we'll put shit together


___________________________
This shits Bananas!
youll never believe this!
Insanity-Spits wen Reality-Hits
http://www.myspace.com/viralishere
http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame
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