Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Head Above Water

Release your best recorded material and let the world hear your talent. It doesn't matter what level you are on - you will get constructive feedback to increase your skills.

Moderator: Loon E Lou

Forum rules
Embed your soundclick video players with [soundclick]Song Id[/soundclick]. You can also just put [soundclick]Embed Code[/soundclick].

Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Head Above Water

Post by Viral »

new solo...peep da track...leave some feed....ill return da feed




<a href='http://www.soundclick.com/viralofame'>
</a>
<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="never" allowNetworking="internal" height="60" width="473" data="http://www.soundclick.com/player/V2/mp3player.swf">
<param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never">
<param name="allowNetworking" value="internal">
<param name="movie" value="http://www.soundclick.com/player/V2/mp3player.swf">
<param name="loop" value="false">
<param name="menu" value="false">
<param name="quality" value="high">
<param name="wmode" value="transparent">
<param name="flashvars" value="playType=single&songid=7180630&scid=7180630&q=hi&ext=1">
<param name="scale" value="noscale">
<param name="salign" value="b">
<param name="bgcolor" value="#000000">
</object>
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

uppin
Haz
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 6800
Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am
Wins: 67
Losses: 70
Location: The Port

Post by Haz »

Your Best Track .

'Writers Block hits ya Like Cryptanite.'

My Favorite Line , The Flow Was Nice..
Meanin In The Lyrics Was Pretty Much There ,you Fell Off With Meanin Rarely.

Good Shit Viral i Was Feelin This Track Fam.
Image
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

much appreciated man....people r slackin on feed today...mrah!..lol...upppinnn
User avatar
- Mutual -
Supreme Lyricist
Offline
Posts: 4442
Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am
Wins: 5
Losses: 11
Location: Dont Live In One

Post by - Mutual - »

dope beat deffo
i like that Bells Piano Collabo
has a dope effect
the Lyrics were pretty much fire
had feeling into it
ya flow was pretty dope with the beat
so good listen
keep'em comin
The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!
Image
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

thanks for da feed...uppin
User avatar
TreTru
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1608
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:35 am
Wins: 9
Losses: 5

Post by TreTru »

illy ill dawg..I'm feelin it concept everything..
yeah everybody else pretty much said it all..
Hott beat , dope flow I like change ups and transfers
in da pocket you did esp. on verse 1..
clear vocals...good shyt
User avatar
MagicMark
Rap Assassin
Offline
Posts: 625
Joined: Thu May 29, 2008 11:33 pm
Wins: 13
Losses: 14

Post by MagicMark »

i'll listen to it once for enjoyment then for criticsm...

yeah.. track was cool.. can't hate... a good listen..

feed:

first verse - first off, the beat is great choice, it works well, and should be easy to flow on, a good head nodder... your flow at the start is great, no faults, the lyrics at the start are a little sketchy... too simple imo... "breaking apaprt like a crumb, feel like scum, being dumb" etc.. just nothing making me say.. "yeah this track is gonna be fire".. ya dig?.. next lines where cool, i would have like you to hit back to this original rhymescheme.. its was like "replacing - lacin'... then a couple of ime-ine rhyme words.. i would have liked a line ender to be rhyming with "-ation".. so it woulda been... AABBA.. rhymsscheme, imo.. it would have sounded fresher and more professionall.. flow is good, but rhymes are simple.. some good concepts.. drowned again.. sound is just for you etc.. i can feel these ideas.. just the execution is lacking imo..

hook - hook is cool.. can't hate, catchy ish, lyrically its alright for a chorus.. and somes up the piece decently.

2nd verse - opening view lines are great.. flow is smooth, can't hate... then it goes into the simple rhymes again.. blood clots, stops, not.. etc.. its not that im looking you to go canibas style.. (broken nose, pokino's, smoken those, joke's n' foes, coke em' hoes, folks'll know etc).. even there not too complex.. just something better than the single word rhymescheme and if you going to use that.. make sure each thought/phrase/line.. packs a unique though, funny concept, heavy punch, interesting crituque etc... people use their multis to get a "oh damn" reaction, as well as from punches and flow, and when your lacking lyrically.. for Me, personally.. it dont add up too well.. closer was bad.. lyrically... simple as, and stupid as lol.. no offence.. this goes near babyish.. its like me hearing.. "write alot and you'll be great, or dont and be a poopy face^ (even that has a assaonance multi lol) thats what it sounding like to me.. that last line was..

"the time is gone where you can sit back and slack
if you do, you might as well dedicate your whole life to sniffing on crack"

can you see where im coming from... it barely makes a whole lot of sense.. your saying if you relax on your writing you may as well throw your whole life away.. its just a simple thought, delivered in an unoriginal way..

i would have flipped it like..

"the times over, for you to sit back and let ya mind sober
i 'chill' wit a "blaze".. till i think fire, n' my lines colder
slack now, you can back down, my shoes say what i feel
check ya 'soul', get in control, cause someone's always on your 'heel'"

etc.. lol.. get the idea.. bit of cleverness.. doesnt have to be liquid crack for an audio.. but still has to be intelligent..

overall - im being a lyrical nazi.. jus' because.. i want to see people get better, flow was aweseom, beat was awesome, the two worked well together. It was all edited well and the track was an easy listen.. just tighten up the lyrical side (in my opinion) and your on your way..
Image
User avatar
precise
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 2435
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2006 6:08 am
Wins: 20
Losses: 7

Post by precise »

whered u get that beat? its nice

good flow, one of the simplest rhymeschemes ive heard u use but it turned out nice, good topic, feelin it man, great shit
Image


facin me? its mission impossible, like pickin up lesbian broads
fuck all these thespian frauds, they "bug me" like espionage
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

appreciate da feed yall..specially magic marks 3 page essay!...lol...UPPIN!
User avatar
Ambiguous Realm
Army Of Three
Offline
Posts: 3522
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 3:57 pm
Wins: 46
Losses: 14
No Shows: 2
Location: Earth

Post by Ambiguous Realm »

pretty dope track, i'd agree with the rest of them..definitely ur best or one of ur best, i would have to take a second hear to this as oppose to "that one unreleased track of athiesm" lol but yea flow was good, i like the message being said
Image
User avatar
Young K
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 322
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2007 9:34 pm
Wins: 3
Losses: 2
Location: PA
Contact:

Post by Young K »

i can feel you on this, flow was hot, beat was too, lyrics were dope and consistent, good shit...
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

thanks for da feed yall..much appreciated...expect another track comin very soon..within the next day or two
User avatar
K.O.
Lyrical Sharpshooter
Offline
Posts: 614
Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:20 pm
Wins: 1
Losses: 0
Location: Chicago
Contact:

Post by K.O. »

i should say somethin negative about ya cuz itll be ok...ha FRESH! i was slackin on the feed, but the connection of rhyming and non rhyming scemes were linked to perfecto on this jawnt. wheres our album at? lol lets get it son!!!
Image
User avatar
Viral
Mentally Unstable
Mentally Unstable
Offline
Posts: 3417
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 2:22 pm
Wins: 5
Losses: 1
Location: Chicago

Post by Viral »

thanks mayne...but wen u stop slackin..then we can get down..lol im in the studio everyday....i live here remember?..haha...so get ur ass over here...n we'll put shit together
Post Reply

Return to “The Booth”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests