Teflon stop rappin… you lack-n-skill, most of your verses are packed-n-filled…*
I’ll be the reason da “kids lost in development,” like the morning after-pill//**
[Wtf....Thats a dope opener man, I'm jealous I haven't thought of the punch for that one. Setup was meh but punch was sick bro...8/10]
Be a huslta and run after-mills, but its hard when you can’t sell-a-gram…
I could promote you to messenger, and you still couldn’t Tellagram//(Tell-a-gram)***
[sorry bro, nice that your trying to find new wordplays, because it's hard to find them shits these days, but it's a little forced, and even a little forced is bad in the w/p game...6/10]
Ya never feel money man, cuz I LEFT-NO-green, it aint my fault you’ve never FELT-ON-weed…****
Did you notice, I used ya name in da last two multis, id figure I tell ya to help-da-read//
[sorry, I see your point here, but it never connects for me...5.5/10]
Now can’t ya see, a ghost rida is sumthin ya need, you might start winnin if you start suckin-cee…*****
Don’t say ya gonna kill b, you won’t step up you aint a fuckin-g, in da chat box the other night you kept duckin-me//******
[Lol...Okay a decent personal...Nothing huge, and the multies were a bit off. 6.5/10]
Dis cake ya see, cuz ima ungrateful fuck, an uncaring punk, when I start beatin-the-dead…
Im thinking of robbin him while im layn in bed, cuz only then will “THE GAME” put heat-to-his-head//*******
[Why do you put explanations and then after putting them you say "if you dont get this one kill yaself" lmao if you think they should get it dont explain it. I know its hard to stop the explanations, but it makes you look more serious. I'm not bragging, but I started by always explaining my bars, but when I started getting more respect, I decided to stop it, because I was around other high level battlers that got almost everything, and man enough to actually PM, or ask in the thread what they needed to know before voting. And I know your going to feel weird and thinking, what if they dont get it? I think that all the time, I try to make it simple and to the point, but either way if they dont get it, they should ask you for help understanding, or stop voting on the battle because it is unfair to both battlers. Loose Yourself wouldn't be a dope song if after every verse Shady cut the music and explained every line. It's up to the reader to have the knowledge and understand it. But in the end I think that your play on his avatar wasn't up to par...6/10]
I’ll kill ya like MJ, ya know have ya “holdin ya chest” like ya sayn-the-pledge…********
Ya hit da peek of ya fame, now this rappas fallin off n I just left him facen-da-ledge//
[If he's facing the ledge he hasn't fallen off. But on another note, the flow and multies were a little off and the punch wasn't as hard as you wanted it to be. You have some nice concepts throughout your verse, and it looks like with some help you could be a very good battler, if need be I would be happy to give you some pointers and help carve out some of the bad habits you have to help you get better...5.5/10]
TOTAL::: Like I said, you have some good ideas, Personals are great but you cant just turn any little thing into a personal, which is why when you look at vets, and they only have one or two personals in a bar, its because its hard to find a personal that is actually suffient enough to be a punch. Think about it for a second. You wouldn't use any old piece of information and try to make it look bigger then it already is. If you wouldn't care about it being said about you, chances are, neither will your opponent or the audience your suppose to be pleasing. You have talent, you just need to dig deeper fam. That opener was nice though...37.5/60
First off...
NO chick would fuck you, no matter how many hennesey sips
Micheal Jacksons dead now so you'll never lose your virginity bitch!!
[lol, okay punchline...Nothing hard hitting, a little funny though...6/10]
*Who's MJ line was better? Let me continue*
This kids garbage..Im already bored..I'ma rich artist
Yea I got over'head..About twenty minutes after your bitch started!!
[lol...Again, nothing special, some chuckles for your troubles though...6/10]
In this tourney Im god eating..you aint hard weakling..
Get on my level..I'll play Super Mario and give you the star treatment!!
[Just self hype here really, and what tourney is this, i thought it was a league? Cool metaphor though...6.5/10]
You're crap, you're weak, this lines bad but your writing is worst..
I'll say it simple and plain..But I'd get DQ'd for biting your verse
[LMAO....Okay thats a funny like now. Even though your grammar was off in the setup and kinda killed it for me, but the punch pulled everything together...7.5/10]
You're dope!!!Nah thats far from true...12 lines ain't hard to do
Except for the voters...For real who even wants to read 6 bars from you?!?!
[Lol...Again funny but not really that hard hitting...6.5/10]
This guy thinks he's a lyrical Adonis, but yet we all know better
And the only Adonis he'll be seein...Is the loss I Adonis record!!
[I love when I get bars
I actually know Adonis, as I drew a pretty dope version of him in Art History. Punch wasn't that hard though brother...6.5/10]
TOTAL:::You have some good punchlines but remember, there are punchlines and Punches. Back on an old site of mine, where the structure of battling was very stretched, the punchlines your using now would be setups for the hard punches. Of course don't get offended at all, you have good ideas, just remember funny punchlines can't get you out of every situation...39/60
VoTe>>>>> Alright so this battle was pretty close, but as everyone else seem to thought, Teflon got the W for me. BUT I thought this battle was much closer then it looked. Teflon got the win because of consistency, and that alone. Instead of having bad bars and good bars he had an assortment of decent bars. On the other hand, MOE's verse definetly had the best bar of the battle, but then his inconsistency was his down fall. Both have some learning to do but I can see both of you having bright futures in battling. Tef gets my vote.